By The Light Of The Moon
by FadedSilence
Summary: Usagi falls hopeless, feeling that all her sacrifices to save the world, including her lover, were unnecessary and worthless. She doubts her destiny and wants to escape no matter what the price. Even if the price is taking her own life...


Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon  
  
A/N: This is a sad, angst piece of work that I wrote and I warn you in advance. I plan to add on to this as time goes on and if reviews are good enough.  
  
By the Light of the Moon  
  
By: FadedSilence  
  
Hope. Faith. Love. Things I feel, things I know only all too well. For is it not, I, Sailor Moon that stand for these emotions? Is it not I who defend these concepts? Protecting them as well as the people that have them. It is my duty, my fate, and all I have and will always have. Pathetic I know, but who decides their fate? Where fate will lead them and how it will turn out. Good or bad, happy or sad, it's not something a person is born to know. It is something they begin to understand only when they get older and sometimes not even then. And then it is only because they chose to ignore what fate shows.  
  
Like me.  
  
I know, many people would not think it possible for me to have ignored my fate but I did. I put it in the back of my mind, hiding behind lame excuses like it was a dream and that I was hallucinating and had finally cracked. It was none of those of course, but when you're a child such as I was, it is only natural to be scared. I didn't want to have the world's responsibility riding on my shoulders, that was an adult's job not that of a teenage girl. Especially a teenage girl like myself, one that could not even pass her classes or for that matter a single test. But, I soon realized that you didn't need grades to be a hero. You just needed courage and strength.  
  
And a whole lot of heart.  
  
That was what I never understood about Princess Serenity. Why me? I'm not a smart, dashing, witty, or even strong like Luna said the princess was supposed to be. I'm Tsukino, Usagi, the clumsy and somewhat "dumb blond" type, not the elegant type. Not like Princess Serenity. Yet, the great Serenity chose me to bare her spirit and heart. Serenity could have chosen anyone, like Rei or Minako, but no, it was I. I should be proud of my destiny, to be a hero and princess. I mean what girl does not dream of being that? I can name one and her name starts with a "U" and ends in a "I"  
  
Usagi.  
  
Me.  
  
What was it that Queen Serenity said to me when I went to the now destroyed Moon Kingdom? Be proud of the fact that you're a princess and my daughter. She had said that to me, the small figure with white hair and piercing blue eyes like my own. Except she wasn't like me, but Serenity. I was just the carrier of her soul and nothing more, a pawn in the fight that was to take place. When she spoke those words they were for Serenity's sake, not mine. They always said that I should be thankful for what I was and of who I was, but how was I supposed to be thankful and proud for something that had ruined my whole life?  
  
And the life of everyone else around me?  
  
I couldn't. It was impossible and so I never was, I just fought and won. Winning victory after victory for her and in the process killing the only man I loved more then once. Or should I say we loved, because Serenity loved him too. Mamarou was both of ours and it was probably the only thing, besides saving the world, that the princess and I had in common. He was our strength and courage, our hope and love, and even inspiration. It was through him that I finally learned that the princess and me weren't two people.  
  
We were one.  
  
I was she and she was I. Two in the body of one and mankind's only real salvation for the future that was supposed to arise soon. A future I didn't want and didn't choose a future that was made for me. To be Queen and have a daughter, to rule over in a time period known as 30th century Crystal Tokyo. That is my future, my fate and destiny. But it won't happen, because tonight Serenity dies.  
  
I die.  
  
The pale silvery glow of the moon pours down around me, sheltering me in it's light. It's full tonight, a big white pizza pie in the sky of velvet blue. I turn away from it and the shame it makes me feel, hiding behind a wall made from years of hate and pain, of loneliness. My face. I use my rage as a weapon, my hate as a trigger in which I will pull. This will be the last night the moon can see it's creation in action.  
  
The roof top is quiet and peaceful, a good place to die, I settle on standing on the concrete ledge looking down at the world through my eyes, blue hues that have seen this cruel world in all it's good and bad moments. There are cars down there and people too, lots of people, people I have saved. They are dressed in fur coats and leather jackets, high heel shoes and sneakers. Average, normal people that go through their life everyday without a single care, without a single thought to anyone but themselves. Women and girls, boys and men, gender has no effect, only the mind does. I hate them all, loath them and feel sorry for them, but love is something I don't feel for them. None of them deserve to be loved, especially by me. For them, I have risked my life again and again.  
  
And never does it matter.  
  
Wind ruffles my blond locks, so soft upon my skin prickled with goose bumps and trembling from the cold. The short blue skirt and white blouse are little protection from the cool, winter night air and my arms, arms are so very much exposed, but I don't care. Let the wind have its last laughs and let the moon have its last kicks, for tonight it ends. It makes me smile, my chapped lips stinging with the last movement, my pink brooch squeezed tightly in my fingertips.  
  
Then I fall.  
  
The wind whistles past me, tearing at my skin and clothes, causing tears to cloud my vision. The ground rushes up to meet me, my welcoming committee to the wonderful world of the dead. I see the people below, watching me as I crash toward Earth. People always were in awe and need. Well, they will need something very soon. A new hero, a new crony to take my place. I'm no longer fates play thing, no longer a fool. I' am Tsukino Usagi, the fallen Princess and Sailor Moon.  
  
And I' am finally free.  
  
A sickening crack fills my ears, my body now limp on the pavement. I can feel peoples stares, hear what they say, but I don't care anymore. Let them talk and cry, let them beg because it won't do them any good. No one can save me now; death is closing in engulfing my vision in a veil of comforting black. I don't fight just let the darkness surround me, a warm numb feeling taking over my crumpled, abused body. So, lost am I in the darkness that I do not even feel the heated glow of my brooch still clutched in my broken fingertips. The last bit of light in a world that is slowly becoming dark, a world that is no longer mine. But then again it is destiny.  
  
And destiny can always change. 


End file.
